Paul continues with the image of the domestic church; the family. Children are to obey their parents. (v1). Obedience is the primary means by which children honor their parents when they are younger. Paul reminds them, “’Honor your father and your mother’ is the first commandment to carry a promise with it…” (2). It is a commandment from God as given on the tablet to the people of God. The first three commandments deal directly with God and not offending Him most directly. The other seven deal with how we treat our neighbors, who are made in the image and likeness of God. The first commandments come first as they are the most important. The first of the commandments dealing with others is honoring our parents. This is yet another sign of the home being the sanctuary where God is discovered in the love spouses have in each other and the love children discover in their parents. “Fathers, do not anger your children. Bring them up with the training and instruction befitting the Lord” (4). The Father in Heaven loves the Son with such purity and fullness. The Son in turn loves the father also with such purity and fullness. In a similar way, children are to love their parents and parents are to love their children.

Slavery still exists today. India and China are today’s land of slavery. I am not talking about slavery in figure of speech. Actual slavery does exist. So the message to the slaves does apply to slaves today, but they can also apply to us. Slaves suffer more than those who are free. Most people would agree on that. If those who suffer so greatly have things required of them, then we should listen ourselves as to God’s will. It would give us a great clue as how to act and how to honor God by our lives. Paul instructs them to obey the slave owners. Obey willingly and with care. God is the one who will judge. Verse nine gets really strange; instructions for slave owners. Paul tells them to respect the slaves and do not threaten them. Paul reminds them the real “master in heaven… plays no favorites”. No person has anything that God is in need of. Their status in this life means nothing to God.

So often we think our enemy is each other. We get worried about this person or that person. We worry about political people or people of influence and what they may do to us. God will take care of them. God is our strength (10). Not only does God protect us, but He also arms us with His weapons. When in warfare, it is important to injure the enemy, and not cause injury by “friendly fire”. The army that goes out to do battle needs weapons meant for the enemy and that are capable to help them to victory. So in every war, you must make sure you know and understand who your enemy is. So who is our enemy? Paul says in verse 12; “Our battle in not against human forces, but against the principalities and powers, the rulers of this worlds darkness and the evil spirits in regions above.” Swords and guns are of no use against spirits, principalities and powers. Rather, Paul suggests truth as the first weapon against the weapon of our enemy, lies and deceit. As humans, we use our intellect to find truth. Then to seek our justice (14). Justice is in an act and is found in the will. Zeal is expressed in the passions, but is put forward as a way to peace. This is opposed to complacency that allows everything to run amuck and cause discord. Faith is the shield that protects us, especially when it is well integrated. Faith allows us to use these Godly weapons with prudence. It guides us in all matters as faith is instructed by God who knows all things. The promise of salvation protects us as we enter the battle. We know our Lord is trustworthy. He would never leave us in the battlefield. The Holy Spirit speaks through His holy words in the Bible. But the Holy Spirit is not limited to scripture. He works through the Church and His followers in prayer. In fact, Paul dedicates a paragraph to pray. Prayer is very powerful. Some people may wonder what cold be done in prayer. Prayer is a communication, particularly with God. God so happens to be the creator of all things. What He says goes. Now imagine that God would decide in your favor. Yes, prayer is very powerful indeed. 

Father Barr

We remind ourselves that this letter is mostly about the Church, but this chapter conveys the link between the church, Jesus’ love for us and the love between spouses. Paul says, “defer to one another out of reverence for Christ” (v21). This is the Segway between church and marriage. We remind ourselves that the family is the domestic church. Matrimony is where life is born. This life gives birth to hope. It is called to be a place where love is found.

Paul gives a structure of the Church and marriage that may be offensive today. Most people hear the 22^nd verse, “Wives should be submissive to their husbands…” and do not hear the rest. It is such a shock to us to read something like this. Before we get into all of this, we refer back to the previous verse to “defer to one another.” This shows the equality between husband and wife. Marriage is not something where dominance is the rule. They are equals. The other half of this verse goes deeper, “out of reverence for Christ”. As husband and wife, you are to see the dignity in each other. God has made each other as a gift. But they are more than a gift. God gives His very self in each other. There is a certain awe spouses should hold for each other. They are totally other, yet they have been made one flesh. The reverence they hold is for each other and for this special sacrament. This especially holds true where the grace of the sacrament is present.

The obedience of wives is understood as the obedience of all the faithful to Jesus. In this sort of parable, the wife is the Church as the husband is Jesus. Taking a step back again, the love between husband and wife is a living out of the love between Jesus and all the faithful. So every marriage conveys reality of the world and the gospel message of His love and mercy. This Church that submits to Christ includes the hierarchy; the pope, cardinals, all the bishops, priests, deacons and religious as well as the faithful.

Husbands are called to “love their wives, as Christ loved His Church” (25). How did Jesus do that? He died on the cross for the Church (He died for us, for you and me). Jesus was willing to suffer. Jesus purifies us. How? Through the sacraments in confession, the Eucharist, baptism and confirmation. God makes us holy and sees to it we are prepared to meet Him at the end of our lives. Hopefully we can look forward to that day when we would be united with God forever. I thank God for doing that. In a similar way, husbands are to help his mate remain pure of heart in the marriage and in faith. “Getting drunk on wine; that leads to debauchery” (v18) is not for the life of a husband. He must give up all such things.

Husbands are to “love their wives as they do their own bodies” (28). Paul is introducing a logical thought here. A person knows that they must take care of themselves. There are many people who do not take care of their bodies well. Yet we all know it is virtuous to make sure your health is good, keeping it in balance. Any man who has been married knows, if you are not attentive to your wife, you will feel it. It may be from her anger, or it may be from the pain she suffers. When one suffers, both suffer because they have been united in a very real way. The bond may not be seen, it is still there.

Our bond to Christ may not be seen, but it is still there. Though a husband may not be good at living out the love of Christ, Jesus never fails. “We are members of His body” and so are united to Him. As grace comes to us in the sacraments of the Church, grace also becomes an experience between spouses as they learn to love one another as Christ has loved us (Jn 13:34).

That’s a tall order for the Church and Marriage.

Father Barr

As we continue chapter five, there is a convergence between marriage and the Church. Verse eight says, “There was a time when you were in darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Well, then, live as children of light.” This is instruction on how to live the Christian life. We are all called by God to bring His light – goodness, justice and truth – to the world (v9). How these three bring light to any person.

Truth brings light to the mind. It helps a person see clearly what the proper and prudent action to take is. Truth brings peace. It is the foundation to the cardinal virtue of prudence. Truth informs the mind so that as prudence takes into consideration all the details in a decision, virtue may be actually experienced. “Be correct in your judgement” (10). Without prudence, there is no virtue. Without truth, prudence is impossible. Goodness is our experience of the virtue that we live out. It so happens to be a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is also something we hold in us. With this goodness is purity of heart where people will the good for each other. There is a security that exists in relationships where goodness exists. A person may have doubts about food, work, money or health, but knowing the goodness in the other brings a comfort and faithfulness that cannot be found anywhere else. Justice then becomes a natural course of life when truth and goodness reign. To do evil intentionally would never be a thought in a mind of a person who has goodness in the heart. Then healing may begin and the trust two people have in each other is affirmed.

In the end, everything we do is exposed in the light. Paul says, “take no part in vain deeds done in darkness; rather, condemn them. It is shameful even to mention the things these people do in secret; but when such deeds are condemned, they are seen in the light” (v11-13). How embarrassing. In this world, the ends justify the means. The goal is the all important and how a person gets to their goal does not matter to the average person. Everything, every person is just a utility. There is no shame in many people today when they do evil. They just think the way the world thinks and go with what is popular at the time. That is like being on a small island surrounded by a mile of quicksand on all sides. As time goes, the sandy island gets eaten away by the quicksand and eventually you have no more island to stand on. If you can, it is better to do good things in secret (Mt 6:4), then when all things are exposed, the surprise can be positive and not lead to doom.

Paul continues, “Keep careful watch over your conduct” (v15). Instead of the sin the world offers, follow the way of goodness. It is most prudent to bring up the goodness in yourself, and in doing so, bring the goodness up in others. Verse 18 says, “…be filled with the Spirit.” It goes on to encourage joy in the heart by the psalms and holy songs. Joy brings strength to the soul and helps strengthen the relationships around you. Always have gratitude in the heart (v20). Thankfulness builds faith in God and in others. Many times, it is the source of our joy. How good God has been to us. He died on the cross for us and gave us the people we have in our lives. “Defer to one another out of reverence for Christ” (21).

All these things apply to our faith life in general, and in marriage.

Father Barr